Venom Movie Review

3/10

Forgettable and confusing. Venom is a classic case of a film that most know is going to be bad but will still end up seeing it for an actor that they like. Hopefully, this review will make you reconsider.

Tom Hardy plays investigative journalist Eddie Brock. During one of his expose pieces, Brock becomes infected with the alien entity known as Venom. This alien uses Brock’s body as a host to survive and allows him to experience superhuman-like abilities. Brock soon realises that Venom is far from being a superhero and must learn to control his new powers to protect those that he loves.

Fundamentally the film just feels like classic Sony. They’ve hedged all their bets on this film being a success by hiring a stellar cast whose ability is way too good for a film like this; with a huge budget that you can just see being chewed up in big explosions and extensive sets. It’s begging to be liked. But the desperation feeling that pours off this film drag it down, making it a remnant of the blockbuster film Sony wanted it to be.

Tom Hardy is good as Eddie Brock but great as Venom. He fills Venom with a sarcastic ignorance-come-arrogance that provides a small amount of relief throughout the film. This performance gives Eddie Brock a lot more edge than the straight-laced version Topher Grace portrayed in Spider-Man 3 (but sadly there’s no ridiculous Tobey Maguire dancing). Despite all this, Tom Hardy just isn’t given the material someone of his caliber needs, and ultimately this is where the film falls short.

Strangely, Michelle Williams is cast as Brock’s lawyer girlfriend Anne and Jenny Slate as Dr. Dora Skirth who works for the corporation that discovered Venom. Michelle Williams gives Anne a red hot go, but again the script is lacking any real substance to show off her immense talent.

Ultimately, I thought her, and Jenny Slate needed to swap roles. It was a weird casting choice having Jenny Slate, a comedian, playing as serious a role as Dr. Dora. In my opinion, Slate should have played the character Anne. This is because there were more moments of humour that came from Anne which would have been better suited for the comedian. Michelle Williams wasn’t great in delivering these gags and most of them came off feeling awkward. This confirmed to me that their swapping of roles would have been a better idea and it would have given Michelle Williams a lot more to work with. I would have been more interested to see her play Dr. Dora and how she could dramatise the conflicted feelings in the scientist who can no longer justify the means to the end.

In terms of the story, it really felt underdeveloped. There isn’t any motive for Eddie Brock and that means there’s nothing he’s working towards in terms of growth or development. When he fucks up doing an expose which leads to him getting fired, his sense of justice and search for the truth gets completely thrown out of the window, and he never gets it back. The ease with which he ditches these morals makes you question how important they were to him in the first place.

The most disappointing part of the film was the underused Venom character. Venom is supposed to be the ultimate anti-hero, treading the line between good and bad, and often crossing over to the bad side. This part of Venom was never fully realized. At no point was there an internal battle between Venom and Eddie Brock that dealt with any complexities of what’s right and wrong. Venom merely plays a lame sidekick to Eddie Brock’s constant incredulous view at the situation he finds himself.

I fear part of the issue with Venom was also the seriously safe M rating that was slapped over the film. Sony baby proofs an anti-hero who eats bad people and often kills them gruesomely by not showing these aspects because they know it will give the film an MA rating. It’s playing it safe to make the film more accessible to a larger audience (i.e. children) to boost up sales. Compare to this another iconic anti-hero film, Deadpool wasn’t afraid to capitalise on MA rated aspects like strong violence and crude humour because the film knew it made them different and entertaining. The Punisher is another similar example of this.

Overall Venom is sloppy and unimaginative. It fails to realize and capitalise what the ultimate anti-hero Venom should have been. In this day and age where superhero films are a dime a dozen, Venom had the material to compete with interesting and different anti-heroes. But I fear the need to keep it within the safe realm of an M rating was a huge detriment to the film’s potential. Skip it.

Deadpool 2 Movie Review

deadpool 2

See it. 5/10

“You can’t really live until you’ve died a little”

I felt very underwhelmed by this film. Coming in off a high from the original, Deadpool 2 unfortunately misses the mark in terms of comedy, which is mostly the reason why I enjoyed the original so much. The sequel also continues the trend of being poorly made on a technical front (one of the main gripes I had with the original) and has surprisingly worsened with some horrendous direction. Having said those issues, there’s still enough (if barely) in terms of the story to lift it up as not a complete failure, and there are some interesting new characters that I thought were notable additions to the series, but I’ll get to that later.

The most disappointing aspect of Deadpool 2 was how unfunny I thought almost everything in the story was. There were only a few moments where I genuinely smiled or chuckled but for the most part, everything was just fairly safe and boring. It was strange seeing a downfall such as this because none of the wit or meta-like charm from the original seem to translate onwards in the second. It kind of boggles me because literally the only difference to those who wrote this film compared to the original is the addition of Ryan Reynolds. But surely the inclusion of its charismatic lead who I praised so much in the review of the first film couldn’t be the factor? Well, I can’t say indefinitely but there was something up with whoever was responsible for writing most of the humor.

None of the jokes hit any of their intended punchlines for me. There were even obvious moments of build up to the end of a certain gag that in turn was met with silence and the sound of crickets in the cinema. It was so weird but at the end of the day, that reflects the quality of writing and perhaps the writers are really just one trick pony’s.

This issue of falling flat also was reflected in the poor marksmanship of the direction. Almost 90% of shots were the same old crap of close-ups on people and objects in every goddamn scene. It was getting ridiculous with the lack of variety and inattention for care. Like here we go, a character walks into a room and talks with people, then cut to several shot reverse shots of everyone’s reactions and when anyone is talking, cut it together in chronological order and that’s it, the job’s done.

Even if it was just a monologue of Deadpool lying down, the camera for some reason wants to come as close as possible to his face and hold it for so long that I don’t get why this is meant to feel cinematic as it’s just stupidly close for no reason. Show me a different angle or some new shot styles that visually reflect how the characters are feeling a certain way. For example, if they’re meant to exuberate a sense of loneliness and hopelessness, why not cleverly represent that by using a wide longshot where the camera has been placed to make the character look alone amongst the backdrop?

Instead what was occurring was this train of thought of “ok this line of dialogue is important and close-up shots are used whenever it’s something important in the film., and because people relate to seeing people’s faces when they can be seen from the front, I’ve got to use a close-up to show them because that’s what I learned in film school, so it must be true. And remember, the only way to show all this is by having a close-up of them talking every time or even laying down thinking or even just sleeping or whatever they are going to do”. *groans*

When it came to action sequences, I felt that the efforts to cheat the punches and blows that weren’t landing was incredibly skewed as those scenes quickly became a jumbled edited mess. It became difficult to decipher every hit that was apparently landing simply with the sheer number of cuts they decided to put together in a ridiculously fast fashion. I’m left wondering, why did no one think to film them with slow-motion cameras, as that was a wonderful aspect that worked so well in the first Deadpool? It doesn’t make sense to me and it’s just reaffirming why I’m not the biggest fan of the director David Leitch who also did John Wick and Atomic Blonde. Yes, I have a soft spot for John Wick simply because of the fun and intentionally nonsensical aspects of the story but technically, it’s not that great.

However, as I did mention in the introduction, it’s not all bad for Deadpool 2. I did enjoy the introduction of the character/sidekick Domino whose superpower is that she’s just very lucky. It’s a feature that Deadpool and others laughed at in the film because it does seem ridiculous, but nevertheless, it turned out to surprisingly handy and I’m now sort of a believer. It was an interesting twist on what was possible on the superpower front and I was a fan of how it all played out in the movie.

I also enjoyed how the story was different to what I expected heading into it. I can’t delve into this greatly without spoiling it but I will say the villain here was not was I was thinking. There are still some issues with this, particularly with who was cast to play that role who didn’t really fit the character (wait till you see the movie as I can’t give this away), but at least it was different, and it was a trope that I didn’t see it coming. But as the saying goes, that’s all folks.

Deadpool 2 wasn’t the fulfillment that I wanted it to be and this isn’t because it was hyped up for me before I went in to see it. Essentially all I wanted was new jokes that had the same styled humor from the first and that would make me enjoy watching it compared to other superhero movies. I was even happy for it to have yet another silly plot (though I did hope for more based on my qualms with the first) so long as the jokes were funny, and I could laugh. But I didn’t get that, and I’m left very underwhelmed.

Ryan Reynolds is still great for the role and Deadpool 2 is still trying to subvert the tropes of what other superhero movies are trying to do, but it ultimately falls flat for me and I’m disappointed with how it turned out to be. I’ll still be recommending you see it for yourself if only to also support more R rated films like it. Take those words with a grain of a salt though as it’s a fairly soft recommendation based mainly on how I am a fan of what the character and series is all about. Watch it if you want to but come in with much lower expectations and you might have a better time than I did. See it.

Deadpool Movie Review

deadpool

See it. 6.5/10

“Maximum effort” 

If only other superhero movies could be this R rated and not be afraid to take themselves that seriously. Because one of the major attractions that drew me to Deadpool was the angle of being an almost anti superhero cliché. Having rewatched it recently, as preparation for the sequel that’s being released in the next few days, I’m glad this charm still holds up.

In my opinion, this is the perfect role for its charismatic lead Ryan Reynolds, who I wasn’t that much a fan of prior to seeing him in this. The Deadpool character and hopefully series, has reinvigorated not only his career but also his persona as an actor, almost akin to the change I saw in Matthew McConaughey from True Detective and Dallas Buyers Club onwards.

The comedic timing and enthusiasm he brings to screen is a wonderful addition to his performance talent and has been held back by being cast in basic romantic comedy roles. I genuinely enjoyed the burst of life he added to this character, which seems almost like a perfect match for him, even though the first time he played Deadpool was completely different and was in that god-awful film X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Ryan Reynolds did his time in prison, followed the advice of his agents and Hollywood executives, and is now on top to reap the rewards that he sowed.

This is all largely thanks to the script, as indicated by the introduction credits which also mocked everyone that worked on the film, except the writers who were labeled as “the true heroes here”. And it’s clear this is the case.

I’m glad that the writers didn’t try to sugarcoat anything (though I’ve heard a few jokes were cut out) and the film overall wasn’t afraid to be brash or in your face. This isn’t to say it was simply relying on jokes that were just crude for the sake of being crude, but rather the film had a story where it was free to explore the roams of R rated humor that normally isn’t done in other superhero films like it. For me, it worked, because, for the most part, the jokes were actually witty and funny.

One of my favorite aspects about the Deadpool series is the fact that the character knows he’s in a comic book movie and is willing to subvert the typical tropes used in so many other films like it. It’s meta to the point where it doesn’t cross the line of being too full on and doesn’t rely on the hope that because it’s meta, this must make it a really cool film and I should automatically think it’s great because of it. Instead, the meta aspects are subtle enough to where Deadpool still focuses on the main story, whilst also willing to poke fun at itself when needed. The film does this not only in ways where Deadpool will break fourth walls to the audience but also in small calculated self-aware digs between dialogues with characters. Yes, there were times I thought that it was blatantly obvious that this was simply a forced joke for the sake of being meta to be funny. Overall, I still thought the balance for this style of humor was fairly well placed.

These are the only aspects that I really enjoyed about the film as the rest isn’t necessarily anything special.

From a technical standpoint, I enjoyed it most when shots were used in slow motion for the action sequences. The edits were made to be overly quick (more than likely to cheat the punches and kicks that don’t land), so it was nice to take it all in when it was slowed down which also had some humor to it. Aside from that, I didn’t really find any of the other shot choices to stand out, as everything was simple close-ups or reverse shots of characters speaking, which is a style that is very stale and safe. But thankfully on the audio end, the music selection made up for it with songs specifically chosen to reflect Deadpool as a pop-culture enthusiast antihero.

The story’s villain was basically a cookie cutter antagonist, which at least the film pointed fun at and was self-aware of, but it also meant that the last half an hour battle sequence didn’t really hold up in terms of tension. I don’t see how fighting a character who is essentially invincible, adds any depth or excitement when it’s very clear who’s going to win just based on logic. You could throw that aside as the story of this film serves more of a purpose to present you the character of Deadpool itself and the originality behind him, with everything else, is just filler.

Deadpool isn’t a hero as he will explicitly mention to you, and those notions have tried to reflect what the rest of the film wants to do: not be a traditional superhero movie, and laugh at those that do. In most ways, I’d say it does this, even if I know Deadpool is more of an antihero which still means he is some sort of a hero at the end of the day. What I came for and wanted to see was an R rated comedy that revolved around a superhero figure that would make me smile. And it did. Deadpool has enough charm for me to enjoy watching the absurdity but knowing that it, in turn, the film knows that it’s all absurd, which are features that I greatly admire.

I’m eager to see the sequel, as I’ve been enjoying all the marketing that’s been leading up to it (along with reminiscing about the promotions for the original) and I’d suggest giving this one a watch before you watch the second. See it.

Avengers: Infinity War Movie Review

avengers infinity war

See it. 5.5/10

Yet another Disney Marvel flick, just with a lot more superheroes.

Avengers: Infinity War continues the trend in a series that has quickly become one of the most obsessed and hyped film franchises, second only to the other gigantic Disney conglomerate, Star Wars. And much like the latter, Disney’s entries into the superhero genre have been formulated and calculated successes that appeal to both children and infatuated nerds. For these reasons, I feel like every one of their films has hastily been put up on a pedestal with the notion that they are some of the greatest movies ever made, much like I’ve seen talked about for The Avengers series. But just like my thoughts on most of Disney’s Marvel films, Avengers: Infinity War is simply another one of these films that follows familiar paths. Is it the most ambitious superhero movie crossover to date? Sure. Does ambition translate automatically to being great? Well, no.

What works best for Avengers: Infinity War is that it’s just a good blockbuster flick. It’s got everything that is required for an action-superhero movie in terms of interesting superheroes, and gigantic action set pieces. All of which is done with great visual effects, including big budgeted explosions and an ensemble of extras that really made me feel less bad for paying top dollar to see this film at the cinema. It’s rare for me to justify paying an amount of money equivalent to what I could get to own it on Blu-Ray but seeing the credits at the end convinced me enough that this was worth it because of just how many people worked on this film. And these are all aspects that are great but it’s also everything that I’ve come to expect with this series, which is mainly my problem with Avengers: Infinity War. It’s not doing anything new.

Yes, it’s setting the standard for how to balance an array of major characters in one film but it’s something that by now I’ve become climatized to. I saw it in the first Avengers and then I saw it in smaller scale versions with Guardians of the GalaxyCaptain America: Civil WarSpiderman: Homecoming and Thor: Ragnarok. I know that it can be done and it’s not really that special to me anymore. Sure, it’s cool to see but the focus needs to drift away from the spectacle of seeing so many superheroes combined and put effort into the actual fucking story which should be the most important thing in a film. Because damn, did this film just feel like a classic cookie-cutter Disney Marvel film, and in my view, had an assortment of plot-related issues which I’ll get into more detail at the end of this review in spoiler talk.

But what I will say is that everything felt, for the most part, safe. As a comedy, I didn’t really find any joke hilarious, though there were certain moments that made me laugh. I enjoyed Chris Pratt’s brand of humor the most and the same could be said for the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy team. It was definitely better than the “comedic gags” I watched in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, so I was thankful they could resurrect some of those aspects which made the first more of an enjoyable watch compared to the other Marvel films. But aside from that, the rest of the film was devoid of anything genuinely funny to me.

Everything that happened on the dramatic end was expected and I could see from the get-go how it was going to end, especially since I knew that there is going to be a part two in 2019. What bugged me the most about the drama injected into it, was that half of those moments didn’t necessarily have to be that dramatic because they were brought up by dumb things characters did. Again, I’ll go into details at the end of this review but I was left scratching my head at why particular superheroes did what they did. There were a lot of scenarios where they would try to do something, but it always resulted in the opposite of their intentions and I don’t really understand why they tried to do that in the first place. I could tell exactly how it was going to end and it didn’t really seem smart for any of them to take the actions that they took. It was just dumb.

I also thought the ending was weird and almost anticlimactic. I feel like they were trying to emphasize this emotional weight to the story towards the final scenes but everything just felt flat or out of place. Maybe it was the choice to not play any emotional type music in the background because for the most part it was just really quiet to the point where I could just hear characters footsteps and then every now and then they spoke. It was awkward and it irked me to the point where it didn’t really feel like a strong way to finish, especially since I was enjoying the third act up until that point.

In summary, I’d still recommend seeing this film if you got the chance to check it out on the big screen as it’s practically the best way to experience all of the nonsensical blockbuster action. My rating might seem low to many but it’s a reflection of how this film isn’t really that different from the rest of the series. It takes aspects from different parts of the franchise and puts them into a seemingly new and updated bundle, but it doesn’t make it an original or great film. It’s exactly what it’s trying to be, and it doesn’t need to be anything else aside from a simple big old superhero movie that’s intended to generate as much money as possible. I probably won’t be seeing it again anytime soon but see it if you want to.

SPOILER TALK

Issues with certain aspects of the plot are as follows:

1. At the very beginning, we are introduced to the leftovers of a battle between Thanos and Thor and his brother Loki. Whilst I like the aspect of starting off the film in this way and straight into a small action set piece, I’m left with a few questions and qualms.

For example, when the Hulk does eventually appear (seemingly on perfect cue like he was waiting for Loki to summon him with the typical words of “we have a Hulk”), he comes out of nowhere to attack Thanos and I’m left wondering where the hell was he all this time? Was he just chilling out in the back waiting to strike or was he not already in the battle before and would have therefore been hurt just as bad as Thor was? On that same point, why wasn’t Loki just as beaten up like Thor? Did he seriously just pretend to be bad yet again the whole time and sit out the entire battle sequence that killed everyone on the entire ship except Thor and The Hulk? OK. Whatever.

I also could see from a mile away that Loki was pretending to be bad to try and “trick” Thanos with what is such a dumb and cliché move of holding a knife behind your back whilst you walk up to him pledging your allegiance. Firstly, why the fuck are you even trying to do this and do the writers really think we see this whole move as some sort of a surprise? Like “Oh shit, Thanos you have no clue what’s coming, wait till you see this” sort of thing? because the only real surprise is why the hell are you writing such a stupid trope in 2018. It feels like that moment has been almost exclusively targeted towards kids so that it’s so easy for them to pick up, which reaffirms the way I view who all the Marvel films are made for.

But what’s worse is that Loki somehow thinks it’s actually a good idea. Like here’s Thanos, this gigantic big fuck off dude who’s decimated your entire ship and crew, who’s not only just fucked up The Incredible Hulk but also possesses two infinity stones, one of which that you literally just gave him a minute ago. And you’re going to come at him, with a dagger to his throat? Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck off. I could not at all give a crap when he died a few moments later because of it but I know you’ll pop up again in the sequel. Whatever.

2. Later when Thanos has to acquire the soul stone with the help of Gamora, he is presented with the consequence that he must bring up a sacrifice and the whole “a soul for a soul” notion comes into play. For whatever reason, it takes Gamora way too long to realize what is going to happen and she somehow is in the state of mind that “Ha-ha! The universe has got you now bitch. What are you going to do Thanos? You’ve come so close and now the universe turns around and says to you, no”. Are you kidding me? It’s so obvious that he’s just about to fucking murder your ass, what are you even thinking? By that point, she attempts to kill herself in vain because of course, it’s too late, given this is something she should have done literally five fucking minutes ago instead of going on a massive rant with a “bold and defiant speech”. But alright whatever, just get on with it and throw her off the cliff.

Also, I wasn’t convinced that Thanos truly loved Gamora through how his affection for her was shown in the movie up until that point. But this was critical and necessary since the only way to acquire the soul stone was to sacrifice someone who he loved and a “soul for a soul”. So when I saw those tears shed by Thanos, I didn’t really feel like they were genuine enough for me to believe but whatever. Let’s move on.

3. When Iron Man along with Spider-Man, Doctor Strange and half of the Guardians of the Galaxy team subdue Thanos momentarily whilst they attempt to grab off the golden glove that holds all of his infinity stones, Peter Quill decides at the worst time to lose his fucking shit at Thanos for killing Gamora. They’re just about to get the glove off and our fucking Star-Lord decides to get hot-headed all of a sudden when he hears a rumor that Gamora is dead. He starts aggravating Thanos which ends with him punching Thanos in the face, therefore waking him up and losing the fight. Quill. What the fuck are you doing? Even Iron Man was yelling at you to cool your fucking jets as all of that could wait when they get rid of his glove and then you could have your chance to yell at him all you want. But nope, it has to be now. I’m angry and mad and I’ve got to create conflict so the good guys don’t win yet until part two comes. Fuck off. And just quietly, why weren’t any of them attempting to cut off Thanos arm instead of just pulling it off?

I also want to raise an issue with the previous fight sequence before that moment because it feels like they held off on some of the superhero abilities with in particular, Doctor Strange. As a team, they’re all tackling Thanos to hold him down and coming at him from all angles but of course, he breaks free. Then later Doctor Strange fights him one on one and uses his incredible ability to create multiple versions of himself to hold down Thanos but why the fuck wasn’t this just used five minutes ago since that’s exactly what you were all were trying to do? Did you just realize that you could do this particular move at that moment? Because it sure as hell would have helped when it was literally needed five minutes ago.

It also feels similar to what happened at the beginning of the movie when Doctor Strange’s assistant transported one of Thanos’s children/servants to a completely new place after it took almost forever battling him. Why the fuck wasn’t this an option earlier and why didn’t you do this then? It would have sure as shit helped Iron Man and Spider-Man a whole great deal but OK, whatever.

4. Whilst I understand that Thanos’s ambition is to attempt fixing the apparent overpopulation in the universe and its depletion of resources, by removing 50% of everyone that exists. I still don’t really get at how this is at all a full proof plan. I like that it does make him more complex as a villain because he does have somewhat more of an agenda compared to just wanting to take over the universe. But still, is this not just a temporary solution to the problem? Are you going to get rid of 50% of people someday in the future when it does get overpopulated again? How do you know the universe has really been depleted of resources if this all started with the sole example of your planet? Even if you’ve visited others and seen a similar example, the universe is an incredibly large place so at what sample space do you realize the universe is in a dire situation and decide that there are too many people in it? Is it after the 20th planet that Thanos checks out and then he says “ok, I need to fix this”? Surely with such power from all the infinity stones, could you not do the opposite and provide enough resources for the universe? If it’s as almighty and powerful as it sounds cracked up to be, could this not be possible? Maybe it might not be but why doesn’t at least one of the Avenger’s try to bring this up and convince him differently. Otherwise it then just feels like a facade for you to go back to the classic villain trope of wanting complete domination of the universe.

Furthermore, Thanos’s whole ambition to restore balance to the universe also feels off because his whole plan is to just what? Get rid of 50% of everyone that exists. I don’t really get how that will restore balance and why it’s something essential to do so unless again it’s just a facade for you to take over complete domination of the universe. But it also isn’t, because you haven’t completely taken over all your enemies as 50% of the people that are left, also include some of the superheroes that were fighting you throughout the whole fucking film. Do you just want to feel the need to relax now knowing you’ve accomplished your goal and everything is “right” with the universe and that others aren’t going to come after you because of what you’ve done? What are you on about? There’s still very much threats coming at you.

But going back to the original point, how does eliminating 50% of everyone going to restore balance. I get that it’s because it’s going to be done randomly but don’t you see that that’s the very issue that might not necessarily make it balanced? It’s all a matter of chance. What if the remaining 50% of people are filled up with predominantly more bad people and a lot of criminals or villains? Is the balance then restored? What’s your definition of balance? Can you have one side completely good or one end completely bad without the two being needed to effectively create this whole idea of a balance between good and bad? It’s only good because we know what bad is. In the TV series Death Note, it dealt with eliminating people from this world to restore balance but by only targeting those that were specifically bad and were criminals. There was no element of chance to it, so I don’t really see how what your doing is going to accomplish the goal of restoring “balance” to the universe when it very well is just going to make an alternate version of it, just with 50% fewer people.

5. I thought the whole “he can destroy the universe just like that with the click of his finger” was just a cheesy way of creating an analogy for how powerful Thanos could be. But then it actually turned out to be something to take literally. Um, what haha? What if Thanos was listening to music one day and accidentally clicked his fingers to the time of the beat? Would this mean 50% of people living in the universe automatically die? OK, maybe he has to give an intention or a thought process to this as a desire whilst he’s doing the click but why did he have to do it with that particular action? Could the writers not think of anything else for him to do that would awaken the power of the infinity stones? It just seems so dumb. Is that the only move required to trigger the power of the infinity stones to kill everyone like it’s some sort of video-game configuration? Why couldn’t it be something else? I don’t get it. It’s dumb and silly. What happens if he clicks again? Will there be another 50% of people die, so it goes through another half-life of the universe? Whatever.

I also love the fact that this click came after Thor threw his upgraded “Thanos-killing” axe at him but it didn’t work because as Thanos prompted him “he should have aimed for the head”. What are you doing Thor? This isn’t some fucking game, though it sometimes seems like it is. Always go for the head. Period. It’s like the rules of Zombieland. You’re lucky to even be alive because for some reason Thanos forgot another rule of that said aforementioned great film and that is to always double-tap because instead he just left you on the spaceship to be blown up. Why didn’t he kill you more convincingly just like he did with your brother Loki? Do all these characters just suck at executing at such crucial moments? What the fuck.

6. This is less of a spoiler but a complaint regardless. There were different settings throughout the film and we got reminded of exactly where they were because of the annoying title cards that came up. Why did this have to be a thing? It was just so unnecessary and wasn’t crucial at all to the story. Card’s that came up to say “oh look, we’re in space. Now we’re in Scotland. Now we’re in Titan” didn’t need to be there. The only one that was useful was for the location known as “Knowhere” because it helped those that may have been confused when they heard that they had to go to a place that sounded exactly like “nowhere” but again, did it have to be there? No. It was just silly and pointless and took me out of the movie for that moment.

7. I don’t really see how people could be surprised that this film ended as a cliffhanger and the film was sort of trying to build it up as a surprise that the Avengers lost so we could feel the emotional connection of seeing half of them die. As soon as I knew that this film was going to be split up into two massive cash cows, I automatically expected that this was going to end on a cliffhanger note to set up what will be the final resounding comeback in the second. It’s not really a surprise and again, the directors shouldn’t be focusing on this as an aspect and instead be worried more so about what the writers were actually doing with the story. But OK, whatever.

8. Aside from the moment at the beginning of the film that I brought up, there’s also a lot of other instances of where Thanos pretty much could end this entire series if he only took the necessary actions to do so. Here I bring up the times where he’d meet the individuals of the Avengers crew but for some reason decided not to kill them. For example, when he met Peter Quill for the first time and he’s holding Gamora hostage. Why the fuck did you not kill him and the rest of his team if indeed you’ve been doing that throughout your life by destroying entire fucking planets? Are you wanting the 50% element of chance to do so by waiting to get all the infinity stones and then let the universe decide or “judge” by random who gets to survive? If so, why did you already kill Loki at the beginning? Why are you sending your children/servants to kill the others guarding the stones, effectively adding to the possibility of having blood on your hands? All of which, you’ve also deemed “necessary sacrifices” and “merciful actions”. Just fucking kill Peter Quill and the rest of the Guardians, along with Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Spider-Man and anyone else that I saw you battle against. If you’re hellbent on completing your mission for “the greater good of mankind”, which also means fighting all those that oppose you, this is what you need to fucking do. But OK, it’s a Disney Marvel superhero film and we can’t take it too seriously because it’s meant to be a hero film and the good guys have to win somehow. Whatever.

9. Did anyone else find it off or strange that when Tony Stark/Iron Man had to go call Steve Rogers/Captain America, he pulls out this fucking old school flip phone? Like this is the Tony Stark who is a Playboy Billionaire and the electronic genius who created Iron Man with incredibly advanced technology and he’s walking around with a fucking 90’s Motorola-like flip phone? What the fuck?

I also love that Bruce Banner/The Hulk later then finds this phone somewhere amongst the rubble after the first encounter with Thanos’ children just randomly and it’s still not destroyed. What would have happened if he couldn’t find it? Does that mean he wouldn’t be able to get in contact with Captain America and then that’s it? You couldn’t even use Doctor Strange’s assistant because nope, he fucks off for the rest of the movie as well. Also does Tony Stark not have a lock code on his phone so anyone who picks it up could have access to his contacts? OK, whatever.

10. I didn’t really understand the tension between Tony Stark and Doctor Strange throughout the first half of the film. I get that Tony was of the mind that they should destroy the infinity stone Doctor Strange was possessing and that in response, Doctor Strange was against this idea and desired to use it against Thanos. But why did this mean that they had to continue on with the plan of meeting Thanos at his home of Titan to set up some sort of ambush? You’ve made this decision at the point where there’s only fucking three of you (including Spider-Man), and you don’t think it’s a good idea to go back to Earth because of what exactly? Yes, it would be bringing the fight back to an environment that is your hone and which would, of course, bring in a lot of civilian casualties just like there was in the first two Avengers. But why wouldn’t you at least go back to check in with the rest of your fucking team and get reinforcements cause holy shit, you’re more than likely going to need it. Even still, why don’t you just go back home and check-in with how things are going in case your fucking friends need some help, which of course they did. Later when Thor got his upgraded axe made, what’s the first thing he did? Literally the next scene he came back to Earth right in the middle of a crucial moment to help out the battle for Wakanda. Why didn’t you do the same thing and instead just have this stupid tension for the sake of tension?

11. There are others but by this point, I’m done talking about this film.